BLOG

First Peter, part 13

The Prayer Principle

Why does Peter tell husbands to honor their wives so that their prayers will not be hindered?

Jesus said in Matthew 18:19, 20,

¹⁹ Again I say to you, that if two of you agree (symphōneō, “to sound together, to be in harmony”) on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. ²⁰ For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.

This prayer principle is based on the law in Deuteronomy 19:15, “on the evidence of two or three witnesses, a matter shall be confirmed.” Paul too affirmed in 2 Corinthians 13:1 and again in 1 Timothy 5:19 that this law had not been put away at the cross.

In the beginning God separated the woman from the man (Genesis 2:21-24) in order that the two may become “one flesh.” Prior to that time, they had already been “one flesh” quite literally, but after this, they were two distinct people in union, harmony, and agreement. God separated them in order that they—and every family after them—might have a double witness in discerning the will of God in their course of life.

God foreknew that they would sin and that their descendants would begin to lose their natural ability to hear God’s voice. So He set up a double-witness system so that they could compare their revelations from God and, if they matched, they would know how to proceed knowing that it was the will of God.

To “honor” one’s spouse, then means being respectful of the other’s right to hear God independently and to take each other’s revelation seriously. This involves trust, of course. Knowing that we are all imperfect in our ability to hear the voice of the Spirit, the double witness is designed to give both parties confidence when they have each heard from God.

A New Covenant marriage is not possible without both spouses having some ability to hear God. Neither is required to hear perfectly, of course, but it is because of this imperfection that we were given the double witness principle. Anyone who thinks he/she does not need a double witness is walking on thin ice; at some point, a cold bath is inevitable. (I speak from personal experience.)

To implement this law properly, one must also know what a true witness is. A witness is one who has seen or heard something and can testify, if necessary. But if a witness is coerced into agreeing with someone else’s account, it is called tampering with the witnesses. Coercion results in a false witness, because it is based on fear of consequences, rather than upon love. Love casts out fear, but fear also casts out love.

Because God is love, it is also true that love is the most important foundation of marriage and of all relationships. Love is not perfect unless it includes honor, which is respect for the calling of one’s husband or wife. The “one flesh” clause in Genesis makes it clear that a wife is not a mere kitchen ornament or a tool for bringing forth children. She is a “fellow heir of the grace of life.”

Servants are good, but servants are not heirs. Even heirs start out as servants until they are fully mature (Galatians 4:1, 2). A good servant does his master’s bidding, whether he agrees with him or not; an heir is one who comes into full agreement. Being of one mind, the heir can receive whatever he asks. John 15:7 says,

⁷ If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

This is conditioned upon abiding in Christ and being in agreement with His words (and leading). Later, in John 15:16, Jesus made it conditional upon bearing fruit—that is, the fruit of the Spirit. It is also based often on spiritual maturity, otherwise, we, as minors, would eat nothing but candy and cake and thereby destroy ourselves with spiritual junk food.

I have met many believers who think that Jesus’ statements give them a license to ask for anything—and they want it immediately. They have a spirit of entitlement. I myself have found that God takes all requests seriously, but He first brings us to an appropriate level of maturity so that our request does not destroy us. Unfortunately, when God does not give us our request immediately, we often resort to fleshly ways to obtain it. This only disqualifies a person from becoming an overcomer.

Peter’s Summary

1 Peter 3:8, 9 says,

⁸ To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; ⁹ not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.

Peter lists five qualities that characterize the life of believers.

1. “Harmonious” – Greek homophron, meaning of the same mind. This echoes the idea of unity seen in Acts 4:32, where the believers were “of one heart and soul.”

2. “Sympathetic” – sympathēs, literally suffering with. It denotes the ability to share another’s joy or pain.

3. “Brotherly” – philadelphos, love that arises from belonging to the same spiritual family.

4. “Kindhearted” – eusplagchnos, literally good-bowelled in Greek idiom, referring to deep compassion.

5. “Humble in spirit” – humility was not admired in Greco-Roman culture but became a central Christian virtue because of Christ’s example (Phil. 2:5–8).

Peter is describing the inner disposition necessary for the community to function in peace. Verse 9 reflects Jesus’ teaching: Matthew 5:44 says, “Love your enemies.” Luke 6:28 says, “Bless those who curse you.” The believer does not merely avoid retaliation; he actively blesses.

Peter gives the reason: “you were called… that you might inherit a blessing.” In other words, believers reproduce the character of the One who called them. God blesses undeserving people, and His children imitate Him. This, of course, is rooted in the Abrahamic calling in Genesis 12:2, “you shall be a blessing,” and in verse 3, “in you all the families of the earth will be blessed.”

The children of Abraham are those who fulfill the calling of Abraham.

Peter then supports his instruction by quoting Psalm 34:12–16 almost verbatim from the Septuagint. By quoting Psalm 34, Peter shows that the Christian ethic is rooted in the law and prophets, not a new invention. But why does Peter quote Psalm 34? Psalm 34 is a psalm of David written after escaping danger from the Philistines (1 Samuel 21).

That context makes it very fitting for Peter’s audience, who were suffering from hostility in the Roman world. 1 Peter 3:10-12 says,

¹⁰ For, “The one who desires life, to love and see good days, must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit. ¹¹ He must turn away from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. ¹² For the eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous, and His ears attend to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

The first test of righteousness is speech. Control of the tongue appears repeatedly in Scripture (See James 3:4-12.).

In verse 11, the second test is Peace. Peace is not passive. The word “pursue” (diōkō) literally means “to chase or hunt.” Believers must actively pursue reconciliation and peace. The Hebrew word is shalom, which refers more broadly to well-being, completeness, security, good health. It is seen in the peace offerings in Leviticus 3. Believers work toward the goal of peace, which is ultimately the reconciliation of all creation.

The theological basis for the whole exhortation: God sees (recognizes, acknowledges) the righteous; God hears their prayers; and God opposes evildoers. The expression “face of the Lord” in verse 12 recalls Old Testament covenant language where God’s favor or opposition determines a nation’s fate. God’s face is also God’s presence. God faces the righteous (and therefore sees them with His eyes), showing a good relationship. But “those who do evil” do not share the same relationship with God and do not know the joy of His presence.