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Ephesians, part 23, Kingdom Leadership (part 2)

Marriage requires teamwork to accomplish the purpose for Adam’s creation, which was to subdue the earth and make it fruitful. The man (and the woman within him) were given authority over the creation, but not over each other. It was only after sin entered the world that their unity was broken, and God said to the woman, “He shall rule over you.”

Therefore, God’s instructions regarding marriage set new rules by which this teamwork was to function for as long as the effects of sin were a threat to their unity. In other words, authority was to be part of the Kingdom order until the Creation Jubilee, when all things are reconciled.

Meanwhile, as far as possible, we are called to learn how to return to the Edenic state, where, as Jesus said, unity prevails (Genesis 2:24), divorce is unthinkable (Matthew 19:8), and there is no need to exercise authority within marriage. Matthew 19:8 says,

⁸ He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.”

Hence, we see that the entrance of sin in the world altered the condition of marriage, for God foresaw conflict that would arise as time passed. Not only would there be conflicts within marriage, but also in all other forms of “teamwork,” such as kings and their kingdoms. In an Old Covenant marriage, disagreements are handled either by one party overruling the other or by some form of compromise. In a New Covenant marriage, the husband and wife are not satisfied even with compromise. They seek God’s will until they find it and thereby maintain unity.

From the highest forms of authority to the lowest, the rules of teamwork apply, each in their unique ways.

It is clear that Jesus distinguished between marriage in Eden and post-Edenic marriage (when the law of Moses was written). Because of sin (“hardness of heart”), many Old Covenant marriages were sure to fail and would need laws regulating divorce (Deuteronomy 24:1-5). Men often took advantage of the divorce laws to do injustice to their wives, as seen in the laws of Hammurabi. But divorce laws were also absolutely necessary at times—for example, to protect the life of the woman from an abusive husband.

Studying the grounds for divorce are for another study. The point is that when sin entered the world, God knew that the original relationship in the Garden had been disrupted and that authority would be needed to maintain order in the earth. But, as Jesus said, “from the beginning it has not been this way.” Just as divorce itself was an accommodation because of sin, so also was authority itself an accommodation because of sin.

This is important, because the marriage relationship is the first example in Scripture of many relationships in the earth that require authority. The same principle of authority is seen between king and kingdom, president and nation, governor and state, mayor and townsfolk, etc. In most cases, these turn out to be Old Covenant relationships, because few have a New Covenant understanding of authority. Unfortunately, the church has followed the example of the world.

Marriage in Eden

The principle of relationship was established clearly in Genesis 2:22-24,

²² The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man and brought her to the man. ²³ The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” ²⁴ For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

We see no establishment of authority of man over woman here (prior to sin). Where there is unity, authority is irrelevant, for both could hear the voice of God perfectly, and both were equally obedient to God. One did not have to command the other to be obedient. To be disobedient was unthinkable.

This ideal condition is set forth in the New Covenant, which is described in Jeremiah 31:34 and quoted in Hebrews 8:11,

¹¹ And they shall not teach everyone his fellow citizen, and everyone his brother, saying, “Know the Lord,” for all will know Me, from the least to the greatest of them.

This blessed condition pictures the whole world being in unity and agreement, each person hearing the voice of God and responding to it because his heart and nature has been transformed into the image of God. It is a condition where all of creation has been reconciled to God and where there is no disunity or disharmony between God and any part of His creation. In such a state, all of humanity is pictured as the New Covenant Bride of Christ, and where there is no need for any part of the Bride to exercise authority over another part. Agreement trumps obedience.

Christ married an Old Covenant bride at Mount Sinai. There the Israel-bride vowed obedience as a good Hagar-bride was expected to do. But the New Covenant Bride has a greater relationship with her Husband. It shows that Christ is looking for a Bride who is in agreement with Him, not one who is merely obedient. He does not want a Bride who is under His feet but one who is by His side—in essence, a Bride who returns to her original position as His “rib” (Genesis 2:21).

This is the position described by Paul in Ephesians 2:6, where the church was to be seated “with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus.” She is not seated under His feet as a bondwoman, but “with Him” (in His throne) in a position of authority. Because she is in unity with Christ, she exercises the same authority that He does, all without conflict with His will, because her will and purpose is the same as His.

This is what it means to have the law written on our hearts, as the New Covenant also says (Jeremiah 31:33; Hebrews 8:10).

The law describes God’s nature, and at the present time He is writing His nature on our hearts so that we can be like Him. But in that day the law will not be needed to enforce obedience, and so authority as such will be obsolete. Paul says that "the law is not made for a righteous person, but for those who are lawless and rebellious" (1 Timothy 1:9). In the presence of sin, the law stands as the standard of righteousness to point out the nature of God that we may use as our example.

This is the context of Paul’s statement in Ephesians 5:22, “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” We do not question either God’s statement in Genesis 3:16 nor Paul’s statement in Ephesians 5:22. However, we must also understand that this relationship of subjection is not the biblical ideal in a marriage. There is something greater, which we can see by comparing marriage in Eden with marriage after sin entered the world.

We also see it in the ideal New Covenant relationship between Christ and His Bride, where she is seated with Him in His throne. When we compare this with Paul’s commentary on Abraham’s two wives (Galatians 4:22, 23), it is clear that the church’s ideal is to be Christ’s slave-wife, rather than relating to Him as a free woman.

That is seen most clearly in the idea of Papal supremacy, where believers are not permitted to hear God if it differs from papal decrees or church councils. This problem was glaringly evident in the year 400, when the Roman bishop decreed against the truth of universal reconciliation, ultimately causing the church to lose sight of God’s original purpose for creation.

A Husband’s Responsibility

Ephesians 5:25 says,

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.

What is the practical outworking of a husband’s love for his wife? What does it look like? First, we should note the 16 characteristics of love in 1 Corinthians 13. Many husbands apply these things to loving one’s neighbor, yet they fail to apply these to those closest to them. It is often easier to show love to those who are afar than to those who are close. That is because it is easier to hide our faults from those who remain at a distance.

Love is a big word that covers everything. It is easy to claim that we love, but it is difficult to make love a way of life that covers all relationships. Love is the foundation of teamwork and is essential for true leadership to work properly. We cannot spend time dealing with the obvious failures such as when a husband beats his wife physically, psychologically, or emotionally. Our purpose here is to point out how love affects marriage relationships in the area of authority. In other words, how does a husband exercise authority within the parameters of love?

A related question is this: How shall a man’s wife fulfill her own authority and calling as a double witness? A woman is not without authority in her own right, for as I have already shown, she was in Adam when Adam was given authority to subdue and rule the earth (Genesis 1:26). Although this changed later through sin, we ought not to think that a wife must forever remain a bondwoman.

Personally, I considered it to be my responsibility through love to create conditions whereby my wife could be transformed from Hagar to Sarah. I understood that if I failed in this, God would hold me accountable. Authority and responsibility go in equal measures, and as “the head of the wife” (Ephesians 5:23), I saw this authority as a responsibility—not as a mandate to have a servant. In fact, we were both servants, each to the other.

Jesus’ policy is to love the church (Ephesians 5:26),

²⁶ so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.

This is the practical manner in which Christ shows His love for the church. The purpose of His sanctification is to bring His Bride to the Edenic state, so that she may be Christ’s double witness that establishes righteousness in the earth. Husbands too have a responsibility that manifests the outworking of love. It is to do what Christ Himself does, except on a smaller scale. To do that, we need to be washed with the word, for therein lies the revelation of God’s heart.

First, I had to learn how to love and to see that love compelled me to set my wife free. Yet it was in my own best interest to follow Christ’s example by raising her up to be seated with me in my throne, as it were. It was in my  own best interest to upgrade our Old Covenant marriage to a New Covenant marriage, where both of us could exercise our respective callings as a team with a common purpose and goal. A happy wife creates a happy husband.

Paul says that love “does not seek its own” (1 Corinthians 13:5), that is, its own advantage. It is not self-serving. Love seeks to bring others into their full potential so that all may fulfill their various callings. This is only possible when a wife is a free woman in unity with her husband—or when a king rules over a free people in a unified kingdom.

Not many are able to achieve this goal, because it takes two to achieve success. Both must hear God's voice in their own way. Nonetheless, some have achieved a high degree of success. It really depends on the word that has been revealed to us, which washes away our incorrect or incomplete understanding of the heart of God.